May Paper Dolls

There it is, kids—May’s Artful Blasphemy Paper Doll Collection. See you in June!

OOTD: Elephant Pants Are Late

So, Artful Blasphemy has seen all the relentless Elephant Pants ads on Facebook and how by buying a pair of pants you will save elephants and people and the world.

Perhaps this is true. But, I happened to have, in my stash/hoard/fire hazard, a HUGE textile that had elephants on it, and that wouldn’t be a tablecloth for anything smaller than an Olympic-sized pool. So, using a vintage men’s pajama pant pattern, I made not one, but TWO pair of these fabulous pants. One for me, and one for the Acolyte.

Stitchers: There is zero tapering in this approach, so yes, the waistline is a tad bulky–but it also means all one needs do to size them is measure the elastic for the intended wearer’s waist, and Viola! Pants.

White tee from La Tienda de Jardin.

Denim Jacket label  is GAP, it was a hand-me-down from my mom.

Pikolinos shoes, style is Jerez.

Book Review Monday: Hild


Even as I was reading Far From the Tree, I was taking breaks from it with Hild, by Nicola Griffith. Not that it’s a short read, either, coming in at 546 pages.

Hild is historical fiction, and based on the life of a real person (who became St. Hilda of Whitby) about whom little is known. The time period is 7th-Century Britain, a period so far away and different as to be an alien planet, yet–much of what transpires forms the roots of how the modern Western world is structured.

While some historical fiction can run too dry for my taste, Hild was nothing but fascinating at every turn. Literacy is of key importance at this juncture in history, and Hild can read, placing a tremendous amount of power into the hands of a very young woman. This position is what makes the book so compelling, as her insights, gained from keen observations (and reading) are regarded as prophecy and magical, making her both feared and powerful.

Hild is a reminder, also, that the power structure has shifted along gendered lines numerous times, and while much of her world is clearly patriarchal, there are still avenues for for her to pursue more than a life of marriage and reproduction.Certainly, I believe history holds many more tales of women defining themselves outside the prevailing power structure, and relish anytime one finds its way to us. I look forward to the next novel in what is suggested is a series (but the sort in which one waits a long, long time for new episodes).

Shopping Saturday: Papucei Walk With Me

Shopping Saturday 05 28 2016

Today’s Shopping Saturday is sponsored (not really, they don’t know me) by Papucei, whose new collection makes Artful Blasphemy burn with longing. BURN. I can only view them through their home site in Romania, so this is a purely visual experience (and that’s fine, they are all amazing).

Let us open with some shameless self promotion. The upper left corner is the Mermaid Portland Collar, a OOAK wearable art piece that beautifully compliments not only this artistic piece from Santa Fe Weaving but anything else you wish to pair it with. The Shoe, obviously, is the lynch pin of this ensemble.

Also from Santa Fe Weaving Gallery, this dress and some mustard tights will frame this shoe perfectly. And I bet you could walk miles and miles in it, too.

This boot, too has a wonderful color story, so rather than let it fly solo, I paired it with this necklace from Santa Fe Weaving Gallery and this hand painted skirt from Etsy seller VestitiDarte.

Finally, another shoe for traversing the weekend flea markets in comfort, paired with tights, no tights, socks or what-have-you and this flax shift from Etsy seller Vintspiration.

Conversations with the Teen: Camping

Teen Boy (storming around): WHERE’S THE WATERPROOF MAP?
Me: I don’t know, I’m not in charge of this operation.
Teen Boy: (Storms off to bedroom)
Me: (a bit later) Have you found it?
Teen Boy: No.
Me: (Locates it in TWO SECONDS) Is it this?
Teen Boy: (sighs) Yes.
Me: (Hits him with it) TWO SECONDS! It took me TWO SECONDS.
Teen Boy: Nothing is truly lost until Mom can’t find it.
Me: You got that right.
Teen Boy: (walking out) We should take you to find Atlantis, (in a mom voice) “TWO SECONDS! It only took TWO SECONDS!”

Jesus Take the Wheel: Medical Summer

When I last left you hanging about my fascinating medical crap, I was waiting on the results of the doppler study of my renal arteries.

So, the doppler came back saying that there were blood flow issues in BOTH renal arteries. I don’t mean to sound like a hysterical hysteric, but I was, shall we say, freaked out. Also, handling that stress is extra challenging when your heart isn’t behaving. My PCP ordered a CAT scan with dye to look at those vessels.

I’m going to point out here that while one might think that they would become accustomed to the routine of having IVs inserted and tests run while lying not-at-all-glamorously on a table in a cold room, one’s assumption would be wrong. I find myself having less and less tolerance and/or resilience for these experiences, so I was a tightly contained bundle of fury when the CT tech had to try twice to get the IV going. 

Meanwhile, I’ve gotten my PCP to write the referral to the out-of-town Electrophysiologist due to the scheduling issues with my cardiologist discussed in this post.  But, we realize that he doesn’t have all the records from Dr. Cardiologist, so we decide that I must return to Dr. Cardiologist’s practice and see someone, anyone, else to get those records.

Then the CT results come back showing NOTHING IS AT ALL WRONG with my renal arteries. I should be happy, right? Joyous. Yet, I am also pissed. Why did we spend all this money on all these other tests and freak me out for 3 weeks? New rule: I will INSIST on going straight to the test that be definitive instead of nickel and diming my sanity and bank account. Fuck this intermediary shit.

The next day, I see a different cardiologist who agrees that I need to see the Fancy-Pants Guy in El Paso and who says a few ominous things. “When you see the Fancy-Pants Guys, they will do one of two things; either try medication or do an Electrophysiology Study and Ablation, which is VERY invasive.” Me: “Oh.” Him: “There are a lot of side effects with the drugs.” Me: “Oh.” Him: “At this point you are not having episodes of Afib (Atrial Fibrillation, where the upper chambers of the heart tremble instead of beating and if it isn’t interrupted you die), YET.”

Oh, why, thanks for that “YET.” Thanks for that. Awesome.

So I see the Fancy Pants Guy, and he says the two things I hate hearing. “This is a very unusual PVC pattern.” and “This is very interesting.”

I wish I took a flask to Doctor’s appointments because that is where I would be needing to take a little nip of bourbon fortitude. 

Give my history with drugs, and the unusual nature of my arrhythmia, on June 09 I will be having the ablation. There are only two surgeons who deal with this sort of arrhythmia in the region, one in El Paso and one in Austin. El Paso dude will do it, but he will be consulting with Austin dude. “At least I’ll be unconscious”, I reassured myself. Oh, wait, no, they need you to be awake while they feed electrodes through a vessel in your groin to your heart. They have set up orders for a valium and two benadryl for that day. I laugh. I have quit Benadryl recently, but after 19 years of using it, it took up to six of them to knock me out. This should be fun.

It’s hard to relax even though I am off contract for the summer because a) big procedure coming up soon and b) heart is crazy weird and c) based on financials, I am having shoulder surgery on the 27th of June. Someday I’ll chat with you all about how broken the medical system is that “We’ve met our out of pocket for the year, so the main reason I want to do this now is that it won’t cost money.”

Artful Blasphemy really knows how to party.



OOTD: No Grapes, All Gray

OOTD 05 25 2016 AOOTD 05 25 2016 B

NO GRAPES! Right? Exciting. And, a scarf about the neck, something Artful Blasphemy is never quite sure of.

Sweet Claire top from ModCloth. I had a cool crocheted wire bracelet and promptly snagged the shit out of it, so that got left behind.

Cabi skirt, the new basic, via Buffalo Exchange I think….

Born Boots.