Shopping Saturday: Hiding In Plain Sight

shopping-saturday-11-26-2016

The biggest shopping weekend of the year and I promise you, I have not left my house. Wait, that may be a lie, as my inlaws will be visiting. Which means that I am envisioning otherworldly things that I might wear to convey my mood as the visit drags on…..

I think this sets the tone for day one, don’t you? Headdress and makeup together with one of my many kimonos should say, “Think about what you want to say to me right now, I am powerful.” By MimsyCrowns. This is the sort of Etsy prominence I aspire to, honestly. Everything she does is breathtaking.

Below that, an Alphonse Mucha corset that will remind me that I am in total control of my person, and will not be provoked by my Father in Law’s insistence that climate change is the fault of the Democrats, for demanding clean air laws in California and disturbing the layer of pollution that held the heat in….really, I lose focus until jolted back to reality by his penguin laugh (Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! he barks). By Etsy seller RetroFolie. Superb Craftsmanship.

In the middle, for Thanksgiving day, perhaps? We are eating out (I vowed never to cook for my inlaws many years ago, as they don’t eat flavor) and I will be drinking unlimited mimosas. I think this says, “Say a word about the election and I will freeze you and shatter you into a million pieces.” Nyah. Nyah. Nyah. By Etsy seller HysteriaMachine, I want everything they have.

Top Right, exhaustion with the incessant talking about NOTHING (my mother-in-law would die if her mouth stopped moving for a moment and it matters not what she talks about, she will report what’s on TV as if you are visually impaired) might lead to a simpler foundational support that says “I am here, holding you up. Keep smiling, keep nodding, move slowly.” From Etsy seller RoyalTailor.

Finally, the day before they leave. Speak not to the creature, she will silence you with a snap of her deadly fingers. I will wear it when we go out to the one plain restaurant they like so they can order overcooked pork chops and talk about how nice it is. Also from HysteriaMachine.

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5 comments

  1. Donna from MyOBT · December 5

    I want every single thing in this post (and your description of the inlaws’ visit was fantastic). Wishing you well (from a fellow sufferer).

    Liked by 1 person

    • artfulblasphemer · December 5

      It is a big club, but the member ship is generally awesome 😉 Thanks for coming by my blog!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Donna from MyOBT · December 5

        I’ve been meaning to stop back by and catch up for the longest time, and I’m so glad I did! (And I absolutely adore your new hair color!)

        Liked by 1 person

      • artfulblasphemer · December 5

        Awww, thanks! It’ll be back and forth between pink and green for a week because my photos got out of order, but then you’ll be seeing pink for a long time. Hopefully this week it will become dark purple for winter, though 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Donna from MyOBT · December 5

        That sounds beautiful! I always planned to go dark purple when I retired, but as I get closer, I’m realizing that medium-to-light hair colors are much more flattering on me these days than dark colors are. Maybe I’ll go lavender instead!

        Liked by 1 person

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